tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-72632782011-07-08T05:38:11.087-07:00Now with "new blog smell"Whiteyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16410935946532269303noreply@blogger.comBlogger3931100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7263278.post-81397457698154616832010-01-12T23:30:00.000-08:002010-01-12T23:36:05.993-08:00

Returning March 2010?I'm currently writing a blog for my fiance and my Wedding Website, but after things are all said and done with the biggest day of my life so far I can probably get back to talking about 24 episodes, baseball musings, and the occasional story about a social mishap.Writing the Wedding Blog has gotten me back into the blog zone, and I think it would be fun to throw a few ideas

Whiteyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16410935946532269303noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7263278.post-12566790778690384232007-01-10T23:44:00.000-08:002007-01-10T23:46:01.839-08:00

Head on over to The Jack Shack, where all 24-based material will now find a home. We'll get around to doing stuff on this soon enough, don't worry. As long as there is traffic, there is someone to complain about it, then write about the person complaining about it here. But for now, it's THE JACK SHACK!www.jackshack.blogspot.com

Whiteyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16410935946532269303noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7263278.post-1163756580140228552006-11-17T01:09:00.000-08:002006-11-17T01:43:00.206-08:00

I thought it was just a joke, but people are camping out in line for a chance to buy the Playstation 3. Unless this thing can do my taxes, mow my lawn, and advise me on financial investments, I can't see how it is worth it.This line is not to win one, or get a free game, but for the ability to pay $650 (at least) for one of these miracle machines. Being in line does not guarantee you a PS3,

Whiteyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16410935946532269303noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7263278.post-1163754112203432862006-11-17T00:51:00.000-08:002006-11-17T01:01:52.223-08:00

I'll be doing this whole thing again. Tell your friends. They might want to read bits about failed high school moments, unresearched sports previews, and of course, 24 reports. If Jack Bauer is going to go to the trouble of shooting people, the least I can do is go to the trouble of commenting on it.Thanks.-Steve

Whiteyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16410935946532269303noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7263278.post-1154159060818058252006-07-29T00:18:00.000-07:002006-07-29T00:44:20.843-07:00

"I'm here with Mr. Steven White, the creator of Middle Relief, and may I say it's been quite a fantastic interview just now. Your students have learned a great deal, from when you told them how to make that fried ham and teriyaki sandwich, to when you showed us how a one handed man counts his change. Just breathtaking. We'll conclude our class today with the questionnaire created by the great

Whiteyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16410935946532269303noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7263278.post-1141165715285425652006-02-28T13:41:00.000-08:002006-02-28T22:03:00.663-08:00

Things just aren't what they used to be. One day, I'm Chris Henderson the CEO, and now, I'm locking my favorite student in some kind of technical clean room with a bomb and leaving him for dead. Whatever happened to the MVP of the CTU basketball league? When did I forget who I was? When did St. Elmo's Fire burn out?It seems like yesterday I saw Bauer for the first time, the lone man standing on a

Whiteyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16410935946532269303noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7263278.post-1140740106634879582006-02-23T15:14:00.000-08:002006-02-23T20:45:40.706-08:00

We've all been there. You have yourself a nice sandwich, home made, all the fixin's. You sit down to watch your favorite nature or reality or news program, the next hour all yours. You've earned the break, and now it's time to collect.Then your spouse, significant other, roommate, housemate, or random person who is for some reason in your house or has your cell number, walks in or calls with this

Whiteyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16410935946532269303noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7263278.post-1140736455619999112006-02-23T14:53:00.000-08:002006-02-23T15:14:15.643-08:00

Not an episode that made me want to join CTU. Yes, there were guns and shooting, and Chloe faces and CTU soap operas, but... I need an "oh NO!" episode soon...Good- Jack shoots down a helicopter. No, really. Also add two more goons to the Bauer Kill Count.This season's first villain in front of a wall of TV's, Nathanson, gets his for trying to love this country, but in a bad way.All of the

Whiteyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16410935946532269303noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7263278.post-1140234288374996812006-02-17T19:40:00.000-08:002006-02-17T19:51:42.206-08:00

Well, if you're not a fan of my sports musings, ranting, ravings, or Minimal Research, good news. I won't be doing it on the Blog anymore.Nope, I've moved on over to the incredibly well designed SportsConspiracy.com, (http://www.sportsconspiracy.com) the brain child of my friend Dominic Quagliozzi Jr., who has no ties to waste management and in no way asked me to write that he has no ties to

Whiteyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16410935946532269303noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7263278.post-1139945272199103082006-02-14T11:14:00.000-08:002006-02-14T12:54:54.706-08:00

The "Hey!" Realization Report(For Episodes that lack the huge realization, death scene, or unintentionally hilarious moments that can lead to a full Recap.)-Hey! Jack has a chance to infiltrate a terrorist cell again! This means that, somehow, the Jack Bauer Notification Service has once again failed to aid young terrorists in recognizing the biggest Terrorist Buster in all the land. It wouldn't

Whiteyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16410935946532269303noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7263278.post-1139517104822129502006-02-09T11:28:00.000-08:002006-02-09T12:38:37.136-08:00

Hockey Legend and Assistant Legend can't skate past gambling allegations.Phoenix Coyotes Assistant Coach Rick Tocchet has been implicated as running and financing a New Jersey gambling ring that had taken in over $1.7 million in the last few months. Deemed Project Slap Shot, New Jersey authorities had been following the string of more than 1000 wagers on both professional and college sports, all

Whiteyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16410935946532269303noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7263278.post-1139351852888753912006-02-07T14:06:00.000-08:002006-02-07T15:55:56.093-08:00

Some realizations from last night's episode, a fine set-up episode that rocked no boats and was a sign of things to come down the road. Kind of like a Third Eye Blind album.1) Kim Bauer (Elisha Cuthbert) is coming back soon.It's official, since Jack had Audrey call Kim so he can have the shocking reunion with his only offspring. While Audrey wasn't able to reach her, we can all imagine what the

Whiteyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16410935946532269303noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7263278.post-1138934836570259082006-02-02T18:41:00.000-08:002006-02-02T19:57:33.123-08:00

Super Bowl XL is Sunday, and so far I'll I've done is mock Media Day, hear that the Steelers want to wear their road uniforms since they've won three in a row, and read about Seahawks tight end Jeremy Stevens officially joining the "You should have just said "No Comment" and moved on" Club.Oh, and something about Jerome Bettis being over exposed, then the story of his over exposure being over

Whiteyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16410935946532269303noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7263278.post-1138756993469965782006-01-31T16:39:00.000-08:002006-01-31T18:23:19.850-08:00

The News, once the 6 pm staple of any households daily informance, has spread to so many niche markets and talking head programs that it's hard to tell whether the US has invaded Iraq or Bill O'Reilly really has it out for whomever this "Liberal Media" guy is.All of the following headlines could be lead stories on one cable network or another. Here, we break them down into the basics. No flashy

Whiteyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16410935946532269303noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7263278.post-1138739637620481052006-01-31T12:23:00.000-08:002006-01-31T14:08:35.103-08:00

What... an... episode. One of the best non-big-event episodes I can recall. It's hard to compare the big ones, where a bomb is going to go off or Kim Bauer takes a shower, to the "We're Still Learning the Plot" episodes, but hour 12 PM - 1 PM is going to be a tough one to beat.This week, let's look at some questions brought up by Jack Bauer's hunt for Walt Cummings.- Were we swerved by last

Whiteyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16410935946532269303noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7263278.post-1138162466931101522006-01-24T20:13:00.000-08:002006-01-24T20:14:26.933-08:00

Coming This Week-Something that's not about 24! Or Sports!Be sure to check back by 2007 to see if I actually got it done!

Whiteyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16410935946532269303noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7263278.post-1138131133485442702006-01-24T11:23:00.000-08:002006-01-24T20:13:30.126-08:00

Coming down from back-to-back two hour episodes to a regular, one hour, mostly set-up episode was a bit like starting with heroin at a teenage party in your friend's basement, and then trying to sneak a few beers from the fridge. At one time, it would have been all you needed, but you've been too far down the road to think it's any better.With that note, onto the recap!-Excellent recap of where

Whiteyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16410935946532269303noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7263278.post-1137033663017463962006-01-17T12:11:00.000-08:002006-01-17T13:48:06.196-08:00

Goodbye, Monday night. Also, it was nice knowing you, boring Tuesday morning. For the next 20 weeks, starting Sunday with the two hour premiere, and pouring over to the obnoxious SECOND two hour showing Monday night, 24 is back. It looks like everyone's favorite kill-tastic, right wing, macho-addictive-super-serial is on tap for one of the most intense and surprising seasons in it's five year

Whiteyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16410935946532269303noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7263278.post-1136851483463522242006-01-09T14:45:00.000-08:002006-01-09T16:04:43.536-08:00

A collection of thoughts from this weekend's NFL playoff games and recent headlines...- Sound OffI was watching the first half of the Bucs-Redskins game at a restaurant during lunch, and kept remarking to myself what a great game it looked like. Then I get home, turn on the broadcast, and find out that the Three Blind Mice (Mike Patrick, Joe "Cell Phone" Theisemann, and Paul "Seeing is Believing"

Whiteyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16410935946532269303noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7263278.post-1136489607803031372006-01-05T10:58:00.000-08:002006-01-05T11:33:27.886-08:00

Release the valve...Why is it that whenever someone wishes you a Merry Christmas for the first time that year, you stumble over the words? There are TV specials on, you've bought the Christmas cards, you're all ready for some egg nog, but when someone drops that first "Merry Christmas" on you, you respond like you just had an allergic reaction or heard an Aunt use a sexually explicit phrase.

Whiteyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16410935946532269303noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7263278.post-1136251207965672232006-01-02T17:00:00.000-08:002006-01-02T17:20:08.046-08:00

After a two month "hiatus", that, I can assure you, had nothing to do with...1) Any B-12 shots given to me by Miguel Tejada.2) Jennifer Garner's Pregnancy.3) The canceling of UPN's "Sex, Lies, and Secrets."4) Failure to find any WMD's....it's back. Or I'm back. Or some form of compilation of ideas and overthought material will again grace these pages, albeit until something better comes along.

Whiteyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16410935946532269303noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7263278.post-1130884332515591792005-11-01T13:31:00.000-08:002005-11-01T14:32:12.623-08:00

The best way to describe the current state of Middle Relief is to bring you an interview with it's creator, staff writer, and caterer, whom all happen to be the same person. Sadly, this is not the first time I've interviewed myself, which either shows tremendous hubris or sensational creativity. Or both, as those two things are so often joined together.The Middle Relief "Sit Down"With Steven

Whiteyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16410935946532269303noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7263278.post-1130786600125660462005-10-31T10:48:00.000-08:002005-10-31T11:23:20.213-08:00

Another Sunday the Jets are guaranteed not to lose. Two weeks in a row like this, I'm starting to get spoiled.I'll say it; Wellington Mara's granddaughter was hot. Alright? She was singing the national anthem to honor her dead grandfather, who happened to own the Giants, and I found her attractive. I'm sorry I'm a human being, America! What was with those Mara's having more red-heads than Sully

Whiteyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16410935946532269303noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7263278.post-1130440302848651902005-10-27T20:46:00.000-07:002005-10-27T20:48:32.836-07:00

Halloween;For men, it slowly turns from an opportunity to gather as much candy as possible to a chance to see scantily clad women in all sorts of costumes with a "slutty" theme.For women, Halloween is a time for as much social awkwardness as possible, culminating with a "Coming Out" moment when they finally go for the fishnets and lace.When these two forces intersect, the irresistable sexy female

Whiteyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16410935946532269303noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7263278.post-1130125785378453712005-10-25T11:00:00.000-07:002005-10-25T11:17:55.270-07:00

Didn't get to see any of the Hurricane Wilma accelerated Chiefs-Dolphins game, so all I can say about it is "I guess the Chiefs have that running game going again." Oh, and "Gus Frerrotte has landed."Just when you think the Eagles are all but done, they hold LaDainian Tomlinson to just 7 yards rushing. Wow. Not only were Fantasy Teams across the country crushed, but the Chargers lose a tough game

Whiteyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16410935946532269303noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7263278.post-1129883492453750052005-10-21T08:13:00.000-07:002005-10-21T01:31:32.526-07:00

Before the season began, I selected the New York Yankees to take on the Florida Marlins. Whoa, was I off. I did predict that A-Rod and Albert Pujols would be the MVP's; so there's a chance I can still look somewhat prolific, if not an un-chance taking safety picker.Baseball is one of those sports where it's fun to be wrong. Teams surprise you, guys you never heard of go on hot streaks, umpires

Whiteyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16410935946532269303noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7263278.post-1129517482580874272005-10-17T13:30:00.000-07:002005-10-17T13:38:54.910-07:00

Another Sunday, another set of opinions on men who are far better athletes than I...Brian Griese is down, and they are bringing out the Cart. Whoa...he's shaking off the cart? You can't do that! You know how hard it is for the Cart Driver to get that thing out there? He doesn't really get to do a lot of things on Sunday, but when a player goes down, he's out there to get you off the field and

Whiteyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16410935946532269303noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7263278.post-1129146204459519472005-10-13T23:05:00.000-07:002005-10-13T11:04:17.513-07:00

Does anything make you feel more guilty than a grandparent leaving you a voicemail message about how they haven't heard from you in a long time? They took the effort to try and remember how the phone works, and you weren't even there to talk about the weather for five minutes. And to think they brought you all that candy when you were a kid.Without a doubt, the winner of the upcoming Mary Kate

Whiteyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16410935946532269303noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7263278.post-1129245052737249852005-10-13T16:05:00.000-07:002005-10-13T16:10:52.743-07:00

Click on the link to read the description of a seen that most likely went something like this-"You! Out of bed now! Give me your money and your credit cards and I won't shoot the girl! NOW!...(gets a good luck at Josh Holloway...realizes who he is)...Hey, do you know what's up with the Hatch?"

Whiteyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16410935946532269303noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7263278.post-1129143958344852302005-10-12T11:57:00.000-07:002005-10-12T12:05:58.350-07:00

Late turnarounds from Division Series play to the Championship series don't just affect the players; they affect the Minimal Researchers as well. Rather than give a watered down, quickie version of a Minimal Research Championship Series Preview, take these quick picks and start your hunger strikes for the Minimal Research World Series Preview.ALCSThe Angels have already taken game one, under my

Whiteyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16410935946532269303noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7263278.post-1128985220717940862005-10-10T15:31:00.000-07:002005-10-10T16:00:20.753-07:00

Remember when Columbus Day was just a sweet way to stay up late on a Sunday? Catch a baseball playoff game, or an episode of America's Funniest Home Videos, just really let it all hang out since you didn't have to catch a bus in the morning. As the years went on, Columbus Day reached such a point that I didn't even know it was today until I noticed the lack of school traffic on the freeway.So

Whiteyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16410935946532269303noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7263278.post-1128982526837218062005-10-10T14:30:00.000-07:002005-10-10T15:15:26.890-07:00

A hearty dose of NFL thoughts with a sprinkling of Braves-Astros for flavor.Tough day for all Refs. First linesman Butch Hannah got COLD COCKED by Ronde Barber in today's Bucs-Jets game. Ronde was upset, Butch's chin got in the way, I mean, a perfect falling tree knockout. Then Barber doesn't even get tossed from the game; so either the ref figured he got in the way by accident, or he did

Whiteyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16410935946532269303noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7263278.post-1128537981757425522005-10-05T11:27:00.000-07:002005-10-05T13:40:19.446-07:00

When we last left Pepsi Smash Spears Federline, he was welcomed into a delivery room filled with 5 o'clock shadow and runny mascara. After a mostly uneventful hospital stay that was marked by Daddy Federline repeatedly trying to get his baby to smoke a "It's a boy!" cigar and Mommy Spears trying to write a song for her new child but getting confused over when to use the word "Baby", today lil'

Whiteyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16410935946532269303noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7263278.post-1128536597873150072005-10-05T10:48:00.000-07:002005-10-05T11:26:48.923-07:00

Nothing like making a bold upset prediction hinging on one player, then going home and finding out that one player is injured and out for the rest of the playoffs. Thanks, Jake Peavy, for taking away any shred of credibility I was holding onto in the sports world.It really is too bad for the Padres (let alone the people who went out on a limb and said they could beat the Cardinals) about Peavy,

Whiteyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16410935946532269303noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7263278.post-1128449651549468112005-10-04T10:00:00.000-07:002005-10-04T11:14:11.633-07:00

(Editor's Note- The following was completed before the start of the Padres-Cardinals game)Look at me, successfully selecting the Cards and Braves to win their divisions. I so smart. I so...wise. My pre-season pick for the World Series (The Florida Marlins) didn't even make the playoffs, and my favorite team and pick for the NL West (LA Dodgers) just had their manager resign over "Personal

Whiteyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16410935946532269303noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7263278.post-1128367979967076182005-10-03T12:22:00.000-07:002005-10-03T14:40:49.866-07:00

Wow, I successfully predicted that the Yankees and Angels would win their divisions. Call the Pentagon, I might have the ability to see into the future.While the Cleveland Indians couldn't follow through and make my "Red Sox miss the playoffs!" prediction true, and the Minnesota Twins were too busy fighting amongst themselves to do anything about the White Sox, I was left to ponder the futures of

Whiteyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16410935946532269303noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7263278.post-1128364333531541772005-10-03T10:36:00.000-07:002005-10-03T12:19:27.530-07:00

Instead of doing play by play on my laptop this week, I got caught up in the 10 AM games and suffered through the poor Jets performance at 1; so consider this a "Remember that Sunday?" recap.I would very much like to hear all the Patriots defenders speak out about that drubbing they got from the Chargers yesterday. Is it an aberration? Or is LaDainan Tomlinson just that good? Either way, when you

Whiteyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16410935946532269303noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7263278.post-1128023684398522522005-09-29T12:38:00.000-07:002005-09-29T15:59:33.726-07:00

This past weekend featured my first-ever 5K run, whittled down from a 10K when I convinced my girlfriend Holly that the 10K may come with a greater sense of accomplishment for her, but would come with the chance of ending the night on a respirator for me. She eventually caved, and I got just what I was looking for- the chance to steal a victory right from under her nose.Now this wasn't just any

Whiteyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16410935946532269303noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7263278.post-1128022706074301202005-09-29T12:34:00.000-07:002005-09-29T12:38:26.080-07:00

A friend talking about a fight with his significant other...(Noted that I do this to protect them, and not to hide something awful I said. Trust me, as most of these posts show, I have no problem saying something awful.)Steve- "Why are you and X having a fight?"Friend- "Because she's being a real b*tch."I'm as sure there's more to that story as I'm sure that it's somewhat, in someway,

Whiteyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16410935946532269303noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7263278.post-1127758363880296962005-09-26T11:01:00.000-07:002005-09-26T13:05:35.863-07:00

Notes from another day of pig skin pleasures featuring another agonizing Jets loss and yes, another Patriots victory on an Adam Vinatieri field goal.Nothing is as lame as having to be late to the days games; the guys look at you, their disappointed, and you know why they are, but nothing is said. It's like the guy who drops the hail mary when he's wide open. A low point for sure. I'd blame

Whiteyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16410935946532269303noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7263278.post-1127596398533653202005-09-24T13:50:00.000-07:002005-09-24T15:07:04.763-07:00

Upon reading the opening line from my friend's Dan and Crystal's Wedding Invitation at the top of this site, a few female readers have responded to me saying "I think it's sweet; besides, do you think you could come up with something better?"Not better; just different. Here are some other options Dan and Crystal could have chosen, and feel free to change any names to use for your own shotgun

Whiteyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16410935946532269303noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7263278.post-1127439158794529272005-09-22T18:11:00.000-07:002005-09-22T18:32:38.803-07:00

Here now, because I have friends devious enough to do anything to make $5 off of me, are the Rules and Regulations for my "No Fast Food before 2006" Contest.Pictures must be taken from September 23, 2005-December 31, 2005 and must be submitted by January 2nd, 2006.One (1) Picture Cash In per person. Fast Food of record must be seen in my hands; no surrounding me with empty Wendy's Bags while I

Whiteyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16410935946532269303noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7263278.post-1127423555673566772005-09-22T13:54:00.000-07:002005-09-22T18:11:44.270-07:00

Somewhere, in the last few months, it happened. It snuck up on me like that Halloween you don't have a costume planned out for. Without any warning, without any hesitation, my body made the decision for me.Fast Food is Bad.There's been a movement in America to prove this in the last few years, with the publishing of "Fast Food Nation" and the Morgan Spurlock documentary "Super Size Me". While

Whiteyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16410935946532269303noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7263278.post-1127422474798769202005-09-22T13:53:00.000-07:002005-09-22T13:54:34.803-07:00

Overheard on Sunday-"Hey, when are the 'Aints playing?""As in 'Aint got no home left?"At this day and time, that comment is not just tasteless, it's...INAPPROPRIATE!

Whiteyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16410935946532269303noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7263278.post-1127152233017390662005-09-19T10:19:00.000-07:002005-09-19T10:50:33.070-07:00

Look for this to appear on Mondays if there are a lot of Sunday game thoughts, or on Tuesdays with Monday Night Football comments added in; I'm not sure which way is best yet, so we'll see.Sunday Game Thoughts-There's something about walking into a Starbucks in a football jersey that seems wrong. They almost don't want to give you the coffee. I felt like I had to grunt or fight the Barista to

Whiteyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16410935946532269303noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7263278.post-1126852230350085982005-09-15T22:33:00.000-07:002005-09-15T23:30:30.386-07:00

So, St. Peter, I'm getting ready to inhabit the body of the next human born to planet Earth.Yes, Soul Reincarnate Number 1,241, it appears we will have one ready for you in a few moments.Ahh, I'm looking forward to another go-round down there. Last time, I was a Doctor.Oh yes, you invented the artificial hip, did you not?Correct. I also saved more lives than I'd previously lived. Very ironic.Yes,

Whiteyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16410935946532269303noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7263278.post-1126635511373514882005-09-13T11:17:00.000-07:002005-09-13T11:18:31.373-07:00

I swear, a non-NFL post by Thursday...you've been good putting up with me, and I appreciate it. I might even go so far as to talk about some nifty flower arrangements and how much I enjoyed "The Bridges of Madison County".

Whiteyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16410935946532269303noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7263278.post-1126635418196340512005-09-13T10:56:00.000-07:002005-09-13T11:16:58.206-07:00

Some quick thoughts on the first week of NFL Action...-The Jets defense was so bad on Sunday, I swore I saw a Diet Pepsi machine making it into the end zone on us.-Speaking of the Jets, you know it's bad for your team when they miss a field goal, and you turn around to find everyone else wearing that "Should we say anything? I mean, it's bad enough for him right now..." expression. When Bills

Whiteyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16410935946532269303noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7263278.post-1126634116741317992005-09-13T10:53:00.000-07:002005-09-13T10:55:16.746-07:00

During a round-about inappropriate joke session, where everyone tells a one liner joke that is awful, but more funny because of how awful it is, this gem was released..."What do 300 abused women have in common?""What?""They don't listen."Oh, we do not label that sort of thing as funny here. But, we do label it...INAPPROPRIATE!

Whiteyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16410935946532269303noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7263278.post-1126293146976962382005-09-10T11:54:00.000-07:002005-09-10T18:35:37.073-07:00

Part IV; The Final CountdownSee Also-Part I, Part II, Part III, Ron Jaworski's BasementU is for UnbreakableRather than focus on underdogs or who I perceive to be underrated (Justin McCariens, Cough), I wanted to take this space to pay tribute to Jerry Rice. While I don't subscribe to the theory that a receiver can be the best player of all time (unless he throws himself the ball, which I'm sure

Whiteyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16410935946532269303noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7263278.post-1126292050718771142005-09-09T11:53:00.000-07:002005-09-09T11:54:10.716-07:00

Sorry for all the HTML errors in the Part III Minimal Research Post; that's what happens when you e-mail yourself a rough draft, and then try to paste it in around midnight. It reads much more funny without the script errors...no really.

Whiteyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16410935946532269303noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7263278.post-1126251229830465082005-09-08T22:30:00.000-07:002005-09-10T18:37:32.240-07:00

Part IIISee Also-Part I, Part IIO is for Overrated As much as we here at Minimal Research love the Emperor's Sexy-Sexy picks for sleeper teams, there comes a time when you have to stand up and say "Hey! That dude's naked! He's just NAKED!"I see two teams, more than any others, who's bandwagons are being jumped on like they're headed to the Playboy Mansion for Oh Why Not Fest. I just don't see

Whiteyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16410935946532269303noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7263278.post-1126118209881730522005-09-07T10:31:00.000-07:002005-09-08T10:51:21.180-07:00

Part II of my continuing attempt at respectability...See Also-Part IG is for Game ManagementMany a young quarterback is going to be raked over the hot coals of their Coach's expectations this coming season. Here are three who have more reason to sweat than the others.1) Ben "8-12, 76 Yards, 1 TD" RoethlisburgerWhen you only lose one game (be it playoff or not) in your rookie campaign, a lot of

Whiteyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16410935946532269303noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7263278.post-1126114263193676332005-09-07T10:28:00.000-07:002005-09-07T10:31:03.196-07:00

This discussion about the language of Deadwood led to an unprecedented exchange; the names have changed to protect the guilty. I can honestly say I had no hand in either comment.Person 1- "You know, a lot of younger people don't get the language of Deadwood. I talked to a twenty year old last week who said she liked Everwood better."Person 2- "Did you call her a stupid c***?"Funny if you've ever

Whiteyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16410935946532269303noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7263278.post-1125531924505644822005-09-06T16:33:00.000-07:002005-09-06T20:47:12.276-07:00

Some adjustments to Minimal Research this year; a number of widely unproven speculations and theories, meant to read like a plot of the season. Not as many team by team breakdowns, more focus on storylines and why John Madden is the worst thing for your ears since dirty phone receivers.Now.... (cue piano music)Are you ready?Are you really ready?I mean, is it possible to assume that you are in

Whiteyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16410935946532269303noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7263278.post-1125532072395066002005-08-31T16:45:00.000-07:002005-09-05T02:04:22.393-07:00

Ahh, the Fall TV season; as children return to school, workers wave goodbye to the promise of summer, and many a lawn care taker shakes his fist menacingly at color changing leaves, we as TV viewers are blessed with new programs to distract us from our melancholy. A mix of returning popular favorites, new Law & Orders to see in syndication for the next 10 years, and horribly, horribly conceived

Whiteyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16410935946532269303noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7263278.post-1124134743822402832005-08-30T15:15:00.000-07:002005-08-30T15:25:22.636-07:00

In an office building, one's interactions with fellow employed inhabitants never really progresses further than the occasional hallway nod or awkward elevator chit-chat. This was certainly the case with my current surroundings, where we split floor space with a Dentist office, an advertising firm, another TV show writer's office, and...The Mystery Office. Through the information share ground

Whiteyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16410935946532269303noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7263278.post-1125436995065465052005-08-30T14:22:00.000-07:002005-08-30T14:32:47.773-07:00

Click on the link to get a perfectly captured "Bummer", courtesy of one Tony Sinkevich and an ingested case of Keystones.

Whiteyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16410935946532269303noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7263278.post-1125305335851878572005-08-29T01:42:00.000-07:002005-08-29T01:48:55.853-07:00

Back for the pure inappropriate nature of the following, overheard on Sunday Afternoon...Person One- "They're saying that Hurricane Katrina is going to more or less destroy New Orleans. It's gone."Person Two- "So what's going to happen to the Saints?"Yes, upon hearing of the impending decimation of a major U.S. city, all Person Two could think of was whether Deuce Mcallister was going to have a

Whiteyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16410935946532269303noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7263278.post-1124912486304523982005-08-27T12:40:00.000-07:002005-08-29T12:07:22.043-07:00

The National League West. Once a breeding ground for West Coast excellence, in the vein of Hollywood or avocado in everything, has fallen in an under-.500 slop drop that inspires less playoff confidence than a Buffalo Bills Superbowl appearance. While "Sacrificial Lamb" is already being stenciled in on the visiting team's locker room door in St. Louis, one can still hold on for a miracle...just

Whiteyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16410935946532269303noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7263278.post-1124952867182697562005-08-24T23:48:00.000-07:002005-08-24T23:54:27.190-07:00

I was all set to do a WWE Summerslam recap, based on watching the pay-per-view with some old school wrestling fans and some newcomers, but Sports Guy Bill Simmons beat me to the punch. Since I'm trying to make any blatant stealing of his ideas as hard to spot as possible, I scraped the idea. Lack of overall feedback and a growing writing schedule towards other projects has led to the less

Whiteyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16410935946532269303noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7263278.post-1124562569649875722005-08-20T11:29:00.000-07:002005-08-20T13:30:28.543-07:00

Steven White, Definer of Greatness and Writer of Wrongs, has lived a life full of triumph. But as a wise man once said, "What goes up, must come down." This archive is meant to teach, engage, and warn the rest of mankind that behind even the most successful man lies a Pantheon of Failures.Case One; The Orientation SalutationA person's life is comprised of a series of choices. Choosing to focus on

Whiteyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16410935946532269303noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7263278.post-1124137735206350082005-08-16T12:00:00.000-07:002005-08-16T11:50:43.983-07:00

I witnessed two special things last Sunday, something I may not see again for a long while. One, I saw Pedro Martinez pitch in person. Two, I watched someone view The Shawshank Redemption for their first time.Now at first glance, those two events wouldn't seem to be anything more than a really exciting grouping of New England legends (Pedro for his Boston years, and Shawshank takes place in Maine

Whiteyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16410935946532269303noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7263278.post-1123697371462703542005-08-10T10:54:00.000-07:002005-08-10T11:09:31.476-07:00

Click the link above to see an amazing reminder of "Someone actually did that?"Yes, this kid jumped out of the upper deck of Yankee Stadium to "See if the net would hold me". While this took a huge set of canned hams, I just wonder, what if the net didn't hold you? Not only are you wrong, but you're dead. That's an awful Pearly Gates situation.St. Peter- "Oh, hello, so, umm, you thought the net

Whiteyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16410935946532269303noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7263278.post-1123635986343644712005-08-09T17:24:00.000-07:002005-08-09T20:13:26.216-07:00

While I have not yet seen the new Dukes of Hazard movie, I have read a handful of reviews. It's interesting to see how different media outlets review Jessica Simpson's performance. Entertainment Weekly points to Jessica Simpson doing a good tongue-in-cheek job of playing up the sexuality and staying within her as-now limited acting range. Hard Boned's review, on the other hand, just said "Boobies

Whiteyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16410935946532269303noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7263278.post-1123027871614584732005-08-03T18:19:00.000-07:002005-08-03T18:27:38.000-07:00

Advice for the self-troubled, from the self-medicated...Q- Whitey, my buddy is getting married soon, and it's the first "Big" wedding that my group of friends will be attending. I have heard rumblings of an open bar. How do I proceed?Yearning for a Ying Ling, Johnson City, NYA- Yearning, here is my guide to an Open Bar situation, whether it be for a Wedding, Bar Mitzvah, or a poorly planned

Whiteyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16410935946532269303noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7263278.post-1121727286461862642005-08-02T15:54:00.000-07:002005-08-02T16:19:24.920-07:00

Here are the long awaited (?) pics of the now-infamous Burbank Beer Crawl Classic. Comprised of 9 holes around the great city of Burbank, the final tally saw 8 of the 9 bars attended after an ordering mishap at the Saloon Doors bar caused a few extra pitchers to be delivered. One would say the putting game never recovered.There was an audio diary chronicling this mishap, but the tape was found

Whiteyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16410935946532269303noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7263278.post-1122581930376716712005-07-28T12:55:00.000-07:002005-07-29T17:56:09.923-07:00

In the vast valley of untapped film subjects, the divorced woman who finds herself giving up on men entirely and focusing on forbidden love with her faithful canine is certainly an original story. While the box office chances of a film about beastiality are slim, this is an important statement for Warner Bros. to make. They know an it's an unconventional love story, to say the least, yet they're

Whiteyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16410935946532269303noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7263278.post-1122332935449568482005-07-25T15:47:00.000-07:002005-07-25T17:08:08.843-07:00

I had the pleasure of going to the Angels-Yankees game on Saturday at the Big A, and thought I'd offer an Albert Brooks in "The Scout" type recap.I also went to the Mariners-Angels game before the All-Star break, so this was my second look at the Halo's this season. Luckily, I'm a fan of offense, as both games featuring the pitching of Angel's rookie Ervin Santana.Santana is young, not

Whiteyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16410935946532269303noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7263278.post-1121454989079899532005-07-20T19:10:00.000-07:002005-07-20T22:23:25.020-07:00

A collection of thoughts and notes from the last few weeks worth of news...from mid-season to mid-trade negotiations, mid-swing to mid-Pinella tirade. The best of the best, the worst of the worst, this...is Rounding the Bases.Raffy Palmeiro collected his 3000th hit last week, which was met with as much fan fare as a Chumbawumba reunion. Raffy also has 500 home runs, a combination which only three

Whiteyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16410935946532269303noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7263278.post-1121710813217602232005-07-18T11:17:00.000-07:002005-07-18T16:54:46.576-07:00

I managed to somehow see three movies this past weekend, falling to both peer pressure ("Come on, everyone else is going...") to the general push for the late night Sunday movie ("Three movies in three days! Come on!"), all of which solidified "Come on!" as the greatest go-see-a-movie bait in the english language.Those two words were not the only observation from my hat trick at the AMC 16 in

Whiteyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16410935946532269303noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7263278.post-1121133809234038732005-07-11T18:52:00.000-07:002005-07-11T19:03:29.240-07:00

Never fear, loyal reader(s?), as Middle Relief will return in all it's "Hey, didn't I hear the same joke somewhere else?" glory later this week.Feel free to start overly anticipating the following-Beer Golf 2005- The RecapReality Bites- Whitey VS Barry BondsThe T Chart Review - "Must Love Dogs"As well as anything else that pops into the culture or my head, which ever comes first.

Whiteyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16410935946532269303noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7263278.post-1120591595673147332005-07-06T16:06:00.000-07:002005-07-06T16:28:43.700-07:00

Highlights (and High Comedy) of my 4th of July...better late than never!A boyfriend can pinpoint the moment where he decides if he wants to laugh for five straight minutes or have their girlfriend be furious at them for five straight days. This occurs when the two are on a Jet Ski, the boyfriend is driving, he slows down, the girlfriend releases her grip on the boyfriend for even a second, and

Whiteyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16410935946532269303noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7263278.post-1120156614958507152005-06-30T11:35:00.000-07:002005-06-30T11:36:54.966-07:00

Do you think the KGB made a phone call to Bob Kraft, or just killed one of his dogs and draped it in a Russian flag?

Whiteyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16410935946532269303noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7263278.post-1120001284651895412005-06-29T15:40:00.000-07:002005-06-29T18:39:25.833-07:00

As we approach the anointment, announcement, and argumentative stages of Major League's Summer Classic, what better way to fill a baseball column than to theoretize and argue the merits of this home field advantage deciding event.Or better yet, draft an entirely unnecessary team using arbitrary positions, categories, and criteria so as to avoid a similarity with nearly every baseball writer's "

Whiteyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16410935946532269303noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7263278.post-1119486884806760302005-06-23T16:11:00.000-07:002005-06-23T18:58:45.450-07:00

The link above will take you to all 400 (!) nominees...and in the end, these lists are always shunted towards the past, but I guess that a quote lasting some seventy years like Gone With The Wind's do, well, deserves a spot in the Top 10.Needless to say, there are some GLARING omissions to even the 400 Nominees...and I was going to do a "Glaring Omissions" List. Then I started thinking of great

Whiteyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16410935946532269303noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7263278.post-1118972339934767382005-06-21T15:25:00.000-07:002005-06-23T10:10:21.253-07:00

From my mind to the page...The popularity of Evander Holyfield on Dancing with the Stars only brings to mind how much, through the whole show, the entire crew must have been terrified to laugh at any Holyfield misstep. All it would take is one "Oh, you think it's funny that I can't do the Cha-Cha, Mr. Boom Mic Operator? Well let's see how you do the Dodge my Fist Dance..." Glare from the Real

Whiteyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16410935946532269303noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7263278.post-1118950804803103482005-06-16T12:36:00.000-07:002005-06-16T18:18:57.386-07:00

Last week's Del Taco Conference Transcript notwithstanding, the worst part about being a Fantasy Baseball manager is the cold realization of self awareness. The key word you too often overlook is the most important one- Fantasy. While a meeting with me and several Major League All-Stars provided some mild comic relief, it provided anything but an actual spark in my ball club.After a strong

Whiteyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16410935946532269303noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7263278.post-1118776422407290552005-06-14T11:50:00.000-07:002005-06-14T12:28:09.480-07:00

Consider this link the Album of the Week instead of just one picture.http://www.flickr.com/photos/rollerstan/sets/445344/To get into America Party, one had to wear red, white, and blue or be forced to don a "Canada Hat of Shame".As you can see, some ran with this idea more than others (yours truly included), but all in all it was a good time until the Cops showed up. Luckily, it was the American

Whiteyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16410935946532269303noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7263278.post-1118109442910577412005-06-10T12:30:00.000-07:002005-06-10T12:23:33.583-07:00

This thing just isn't as easy to start without the jingle. I think we all miss it...and it misses all of us.For once, these are actual questions sent in by real people...a nice change from the "Whitey's Mailbag" of old.Can you put something up today? I'm bored at work and could really use something to read. Thanks, man.- Paul, Charlotte, North CarolinaI'll see what I can do. Glad to see that I

Whiteyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16410935946532269303noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7263278.post-1117849379435642582005-06-06T15:12:00.000-07:002005-06-06T18:31:28.746-07:00

Welcome to my latest hopefully-updated-once-a-week column, with a focus on (females feel free to leave the room) Major League and Fantasy Baseball. This won't be a "Pick up Joe X, Drop Jimmy Y" type of focus, but more of an overall look at the league and any humorous anecdotes from the world of heavy stats and light social skills.Not that all Fantasy Baseball participants are nerds. Far from it.

Whiteyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16410935946532269303noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7263278.post-1118094746247495102005-06-06T14:47:00.000-07:002005-06-06T14:52:26.253-07:00

For those of you who loved Vegas-Sleeze Barney "Big Cheese" Conigliaro, let us not forget one of my first alter-egos; Juvy the Caucasian Rasta.Click the link for an image of what I would look like if my parents were Bob Marley and Kirstie Alley.

Whiteyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16410935946532269303noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7263278.post-1117759445534990482005-06-02T15:28:00.000-07:002005-06-02T19:05:52.506-07:00

Steven White, Definer of Greatness and Experienced Tire Changer , has lived a life full of triumph. As a wise man once said, "What goes up, must come down." This archive is meant to teach, engage, and warn the rest of mankind that behind even the most successful man lies a Pantheon of Failures.Case 96- The Back Pack MishapThere is no greater opportunity for reinvention than the emergence into a

Whiteyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16410935946532269303noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7263278.post-1117587459380552352005-05-31T16:52:00.000-07:002005-05-31T17:57:39.420-07:00

Oh, so it was just some high ranking FBI Guy. Can't help but feel a little let down, especially when you consider my list of candidates...1) Ghost of JFKHey, he beat Nixon for the presidency, only to see Tricky Dick sneak in the back door a few years later. I wouldn't put it past ole' JFK to add "Screw Nixon" to his list of After Life activities, falling somewhere between "Reuniting with Marilyn"

Whiteyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16410935946532269303noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7263278.post-1117057712653999772005-05-25T14:30:00.000-07:002005-05-25T15:38:15.190-07:00

Not Tony!This was the outcry from anyone I knew who watched 24 at the end of last week's episode, when it appeared that Agent Almeda had been taken hostage. We all felt the silent death clock countdown coming, and we didn't like it.So some of us decided to do something about it.Hence, the Tony Shrine was constructed. Going into the 2 hour Season Finale, we were going to go over Jack Bauer's head

Whiteyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16410935946532269303noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7263278.post-1116924142254469102005-05-24T01:38:00.000-07:002005-05-25T14:30:29.816-07:00

WOW! What an amazing two hour finale of 24 tonight. Everything from the Chinese getting medievel on JB's behind to Marwan dropping himself from a three story parking garage, and in the end no US city got nuked. This has to go down as one of the best seasons of 24 ever, if not the best, and expect a full report later on Tuesday.Let's just all take a breath and realize that Tony Almeda is still

Whiteyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16410935946532269303noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7263278.post-1116459158543013572005-05-19T12:07:00.000-07:002005-05-19T13:16:47.616-07:00

The most anticipated movie of the summer not featuring the words "Batman" or "Chocolate Factory" opens this week, and what kind of pop culture guru would I be if I didn't throw up a review. Since I'm not an industry insider or personal friend of Mr. Lucas, I haven't seen the movie yet. But it's not like a small detail like that kept me from reviewing Hitch or Fever Pitch.(Note; When I say "most

Whiteyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16410935946532269303noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7263278.post-1116313950519863372005-05-16T22:46:00.000-07:002005-05-17T00:12:30.566-07:00

I just want to announce that this will be the last 24 Hour Recap I do. It was a good run, but all good things...The following takes place between when I sat down at my friend's apartment with a fresh Quizno's Sub, and when I stormed out in a teary eyed rage.- I must say, the last few weeks of episodes seem much cooler when you cram three hours into 2 minutes.- Who wants to bet that the words "We

Whiteyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16410935946532269303noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7263278.post-1115925299527079882005-05-12T12:12:00.000-07:002005-05-13T19:40:12.970-07:00

It seemed like yesterday that I awoke on a May Sunday, painted with equal parts hangover and selective memory loss from the brush of my Graduation Party, the whole time reconsidering having said shindig before actual Graduation. As I stepped over the near lifeless warm body of my friend Timmy Gallagher, I kicked him gently and said what was possibly the most profound statement of my short

Whiteyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16410935946532269303noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7263278.post-1115796222125477562005-05-10T23:35:00.000-07:002005-05-11T00:23:42.436-07:00

While riding their first 3 game winning streak of the season, the New York Yankees were beginning to feel some momentum. Manager Joe Torre and General Manager Brian Cashman were starting to see some pay off to their radical line up changes a week prior; but they weren't done tinkering with the Bronx Bombers yet. The following is a transcript from a Top Secret recording of a Top Secret meeting

Whiteyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16410935946532269303noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7263278.post-1115765554932821012005-05-10T15:43:00.000-07:002005-05-10T23:34:56.803-07:00

Mr. Chang,Below are the hourly reports of Jack Bauer's actions for the time he has been reinstated at CTU that you requested. As you can see, they suggest no action that would relate to the seizing of the captive...er, the person, in question. If you have any questions, feel free to call our main office line, where Edgar will assist you. Yeah, we don't know why we have the phones ring to his desk

Whiteyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16410935946532269303noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7263278.post-1115236288471223392005-05-04T12:14:00.000-07:002005-05-04T22:08:16.566-07:00

(Note; The following was written before I saw the new episode that aired today.)Remember the Game Show Boom? Towards the end of the 90's, networks were developing new and resurrecting old game shows faster than MTV could replay the latest Britney Spears video. Then, after people somehow got tired of twelve or so weekly hours of "Who Wants to Be a Millionaire!" the fad faded faster than, well, the

Whiteyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16410935946532269303noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7263278.post-1115162170556424822005-05-03T16:05:00.000-07:002005-05-03T19:28:22.686-07:00

Counter Terrorist Unit Los Angeles BranchMemoTo: President LoganFrom: Bill BuchananCC: President D. Palmer, Secretary of Defense W. Heller, Chief Advisor M. NovackDate: May 3, 2005Re: Jack BauerMr. President, Mr. Former President who seems to have more power than the current President, please excuse the formality of this message, but the Fudge has hit the Fan. I'm knee deep in Asian diplomacy

Whiteyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16410935946532269303noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7263278.post-1115055658693987892005-05-02T10:34:00.000-07:002005-05-02T10:40:58.693-07:00

From left to right, that's my boy Jimmy Quacks, and hanging center is Dino "The D" Casteleta.There are no pictures available, however, of the next day, when Jimmy Q. was found on a bus to Hoboken wearing my sunglasses, The D had severe issues and missed his gig at the Stardust after drinking a whole bottle of Tangeray, and myself, BC, The Big Cheese, was legally dead until roughly 2 PM on Sunday

Whiteyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16410935946532269303noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7263278.post-1115055224114073002005-05-02T10:32:00.000-07:002005-05-02T10:33:44.116-07:00

The BC never rolls in solo...he's a player, a figure, a guy, the boss, the man, the general, you get how it is, Waitress? I need another JD and C over here, oohhh baby.

Whiteyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16410935946532269303noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7263278.post-1115055130714506932005-05-02T10:27:00.000-07:002005-05-02T10:32:10.716-07:00

Barney C., The BC, the Big Cheese. I'm a man, with a thing, I go to the place, that's how the Cheese rolls.Click on the Link to see a picture of what I went with for "Ithaca Prom 2005; Prom of Any Decade". Yes, I used about 1/3 of a bottle of hair gel to get the whole "Pat Riley" thing down, and yes, that IS the real color of the jacket.

Whiteyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16410935946532269303noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7263278.post-1114542590867351802005-04-26T12:03:00.000-07:002005-04-26T13:32:23.913-07:00

January, 2005Doug's Friend- "Hey, Doug, it's really great that the Jets elected to keep you, you know, considering the incident. Incidents, really."Doug Brien- "Sure is. What a great vote of confidence, after the complete lack of vote I gave them."April 23, 2005; Draft DayDoug's Friend- "Hey, did the Jets just take that kicker from Ohio State?"Doug Brien- "Huuuuuuuuh?"April 25, 2005;The following

Whiteyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16410935946532269303noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7263278.post-1114496227771599772005-04-25T22:57:00.000-07:002005-04-26T12:03:09.676-07:00

The following takes place between 8:44 PM and 9:11 PM, Pacific Coast Time;After a late stay at work, I looked at the prospects of either taking my time getting home, or doing a Cannonball Run attack of the Los Angeles Freeway system to try and make as much of the episode as I could.Needless to say, the 28 minute Marina Del Rey-Burbank drive will go down in the record books, both for my adherence

Whiteyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16410935946532269303noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7263278.post-1113866344453228492005-04-21T18:54:00.000-07:002005-04-21T18:46:15.160-07:00

Britney Spears is pregnant? No one's more happier than Tabloid Headline writers, who can pretty much guarantee that they have a story for the next 9 months to 18 years. What would be more enjoyable on the Train Wreck Scale; Britney having a boy that cuts an album, or a girl who ends up on VH1's 20th season of Celebrity Fit Club? Imagine if her son gets into a feud with her, then covers Justin

Whiteyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16410935946532269303noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7263278.post-1113958758754811752005-04-19T17:58:00.000-07:002005-04-19T17:59:18.756-07:00

No idea either...but Pete and I were clearly in awe of something.

Whiteyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16410935946532269303noreply@blogger.com0